Jokes

The below jokes may be offensive to some, but are chosen with great care as an advanced exercice for students to analyse and understand the stereotypes, understanding and perceptions that are layered into the jokes.

1). General Schwartzkopf was asked how it was possible to fight an enemy who was ready and willing to die for his cause. His reply: "Accommodate him."

2). Yasser Arafat, not feeling well and concerned about his mortality, goes to consult a psychic about the date of his death. Closing her eyes and silently reaching into the realm of the future she finds the answer: "You will die on a Jewish holiday." "Which one?'" Arafat asks nervously. "It doesn't matter," answers the psychic. "Whatever day you die, it'll be a Jewish holiday."

3). U. N. officials have hailed Yasser Arafat's decision to convert to Judaism as a major step in bringing peace to the Middle East.
In Israel, government offices were swamped beyond capacity by applicants volunteering to be the moyel.

4). Osama Bin Laden meets Arafat. He asks him to explain how come they whilst both are terrorists - everyone is out to capture and kill him (Bin Laden) - while you still manage to be friends with most of the world's leaders? Answers Arafat: "That's very simple; I only kill Jews!"

5). "Israel began evacuating thousands of Jewish settlers from the Gaza Strip and as a result, the Jewish settlers will be forced to return to their traditional home: Miami Beach."

6). Two Jews were sitting in a Tel Aviv cafe in the precarious days after Israel first had won its independence, and one said to the other,"I see only one way out."
"What's that?"
"Israel must declare war on the United States."
"What are you talking about? How could that possibly help us?"
"Well, we'd lose at once and the Americans would send an occupying force. They would form an alliance with a new pro-American government, guarantee our boundaries, flood us with American capital, establish our industries, and make us prosperous."
"Hmm... I see your point, but it won't work." "Why not?" "Because, with our luck, we'd win the war and spoil everything."